i'm ballin' through the recession

"i was totally astral-traveling. i had the most enlightening, loving feeling. i specifically remember being in outer space, looking down on planets and stuff... right when she touched my penis to take [the catheter] out, i bolted up and projectile-vomited on everybody in the room. it looked like sangria. it was like, 24 PBRs and a gallon of crown royal and fruit. then i was done; i was out of the coma. i had lost weight - i looked great."
- brent hinds, mastodon

stones

8 things that have happened for the first time:

1. i left the united states
2. i went para-sailing
3. i was promoted to Art Director
4. i drank a white russian
5. i ate foi gras
6. i dipped tobacco
7. i had a surprise party
8. i turned 25

*honorable mention: i also went to Outback Steakhouse for the first time and ate a Blooming Onion for the first time.